Only one person can help you — you. Whatever is going on in your life, whether good or bad, it’s there because of your thoughts and words and actions. Only you can change what you are experiencing. How do you do that?
Change comes from stillness
Our minds can be the bad guys, responding rather than creating. Our minds are wonderfully busy, comparing, examining, creating, even judging. But our mind only responds to stimuli. It is at the effect of whatever thoughts show up regardless of how valid they are. We have to go within in order to make conscious choices and to consciously shape and choose what we want to show up in our life. The thoughts we choose to keep will shape our life experience.
You can immediately stop the chatter of your mind by just following your breath. Focus on slowly breathing in, hold it a minute and then breathe out. Repeat for several minutes. Pausing for a focused and calming breath makes us present in the moment of now. From that place of stillness and inner serenity, we learn to interpret our inner nudges, the “ah ha’s” that seem to come from nowhere.
We hold those wisps of insight to our heart to make certain they are aligned with our soul’s purpose. Then we become aware of how we are to put our centered, focused knowledge to use.
What strengths do you have to call on?
Courage, determination, love, empathy, overview — what are the strengths you call upon over and over? I, for instance, call upon my self-awareness.
Determination is present in my life, as is contemplation and self-awareness. What tools do you call upon from within that get you through a challenging time?
Let the answer unfold
My mind and emotions were very aware that national circumstances seemed to invalidate every belief I’d held all my life. I was disbelieving and afraid. I did work to understand the “why” and began to expand my awareness of how people I didn’t know much about were feeling. I didn’t know what I, a senior woman sitting in her apartment, could do to heal and soothe and even create change.
How do you want to feel? Begin by noticing what you want to change about yourself. About the way you feel. Expand your knowledge of why things happened the way they did.
Choose from the answers that show up
If I want to feel safe, I simply focus on what it feels like to be safe. If I want to feel loved, I think and feel and explore what it would feel like to be loved — and to love. If I want to help the planet, I join in worldwide meditation groups and up my personal recycling efforts. Do whatever it takes to encourage yourself to move forward — away from what’s not working.
Examine the many paths
As you can only choose in the present moment, whatever you choose is exactly right — for now. Don’t anticipate, don’t plan ahead, just notice where you are and how you feel.
Pay attention to what shows up. It may be an opportunity. It may be an idea. It may be a call from a friend. All you have to do is be prepared to notice and make a choice around whatever shows up.
Get help if you need it
Look to others for ideas and inspiration that inspire you to take action. If you are lucky enough to know like-minded people, listen to them. Journal, mind-map to pull your own ideas and understanding from deep within. The choice is yours, and only yours. No one can make it for you. No one should be allowed to make it for you. Your choice. Your result.
What are your strengths?
Identify your strengths and notice how you’re using them. Perhaps you have a few strengths lying dormant waiting to be called upon.
Develop new strengths. I have a hard time completing things because the discovery and creating process is so much more exciting than the technical aspects. But I took time to figure out my working habits and now have a better handle on how to get my work to completion — in spite of myself.
Know that you can make it work
As I continue to recover my balance and consider my options, I broaden the possibilities of what I can do and I deepen my understanding of what’s necessary. Both good steps.
How do you pull forth your inner strengths? First stillness. Then knowing. Then choice filled by action. You can do that.